Couples "lost in translation" 4

The supernatural operation of God in "Couple Lectio Divina"

In “Couple Lectio Divina” (CLD), as I was saying, the main challenge, cannot be different from the challenge of “Personal Lectio divina”. The main challenge is and will always be to allow God, really to speak to us, and not transform the lectio divina in an exegesis exercise, or a theological, intellectual exercise, or simple a psychological projection (of our thoughts, problems, desires, unconscious etc). This is why, now, from experience, I do recommend for individuals to check their lectio (by experiencing that two texts or more allow only one Light from Jesus, one Word from Him to go through (check my book for that)). One can have full good will and not make it correctly. I had that case various times. Maybe more intellectual people would struggle more, because they can produce many ideas out of a text. But still, the supernatural operation of the Holy Scripture is absolutely unique and absolutely possible everyday. I have enough proofs for that to be able to say it.

Now, remember, I have no personal experience of “common lectio divina” or “couple lectio divina”. I might be able soon to say something about it, but till now no. So all what I am saying is only the voice of reason, the voice of experience of “Personal lectio divina” (PLD). Trust me, any reading about “Common lectio divina” didn't convince me yet. This is why I am stressing on the “supernatural action of the Holy Spirit” and the total attention that it deserves from us.

Now, I will only compare both and deduce. I don't think this method is wrong. We can go from there.

First and foremost, let us remember the main aspect of PLD: all relies on the first demand: “Jesus, with the help of your Holy Spirit, tell me what You want me to do today?” It is intended that what he wants me to do if for my own good, for my spiritual growth.

What is the “first demand” for the “Couple LD”? It will be the same: “Jesus, with the help of your Holy Spirit, tell us what You want us to do today?” “us” or one of us with the prayer of the other. The goal is to help the couple progress, as individuals supported by each other and/or as a couple.

The couple is putting himself in the attitude of the beggar, asking humbly, waiting for the Holy Spirit. As we know, this type of prayer is impossible not to be answered. This is the promise of the Lord: “if two of three are gathered in my Name, I am always amongst them” (Mt 18:20), and answer their prayer.

The process of CLD

The question now is to know how the process will happen: what belongs to the couple and what belongs to the person?

It is normal to give time for each one, while sitting together, for each one, to listen to God, in that finality.

0- The couple might start with a short prayer, putting their concerns in the hands of God and asking for the Holy Spirit to help them search for the Will of God on them, today. They entrust themselves in the Hands of God.

1- A time alone, with God, to do the LD with the texts (always repeating silently the question: tell us God what you from us). Time to listen to God.

2- A time to share what has been received. It is possible that the two lights received do not coincide at first glance.

3- A time to interiorise what has been received from the partner, to listen to God, to refine together what was received. The partner here is sacramental like the Scriptures.

I still do believe that it is possible from the first time spent with God that each can see what God wants.

4- In case they don't reach a common light, the couple then would start an exercise of listening to each other, trying together the find a common light.

Let us remember that for for the PLD we find a “resonance” between 4 things at least if not more: us, Jesus, and the two texts. We know as well that we can do it with 3 (sundays and solemnities) or even 4 texts (adding the Psalm). This is very important, understanding the “resonance”.

In the case of CLD we have one more “element”, the partner. Therefore the total of elements that “enter in resonance” is 5 or more.

The resonance is important, but it depends on two human wills and not only on one, as for PLD. This is in the same time the challenge and the beauty.

With no experience on that excercice this is how I see it. I can't say more as a suggestion. I remain opened to your trials, experience, questions, suggestions.

Some questions around CLD

- How long one CLD would last? Certainly more that the personal one. Because one added factor is present: listening to the partner and confronting all that with God and listening interiorly to Him.

- Will they receive always one light together?? - Probably not always, out of weakness.

- What would happen if they don't? They should? - The common effort made is to be considered as something that pleases God enormously.

- Should the point of view of one prevail? Like some would say that the woman should obey to her husband. - The same text that gives this advice says that the Husband should serve his wife like Jesus did for the Church. So I don't know who listens to whom here. Both they have to converge.

- Should we force God on one point asking Him what he thinks? No.

- How many times the couple should practice the CLD? I would tend to think that Sunday is an appropriate day for it. If the couple can afford to do it more often (baring in mind the importance of doing the PLD) that would be great. I wouldn't mind personally, if for one day during the week the PLD is replaced by a more solemn CLD. I think it is good to “meet” like that, under the light of God, in an intense moment.

- You asked me this question: What do you mean by the "marian level" of lectio divina?

- If you read my text, I didn't mean that. What I mean is that the marian level of each member of the Couple is decisive because the “marianisation” of our being makes things easier in our spiritual life, it helps God form our new being with greater ease. In our life, there is a before and after we get to know the spiritual doctrine on Our Lady (as taught by Grignon de Montfort). In fact our life changes completely, or should.

Of course the marianisation of our being makes the practice of LD much easier. You can have a look at the book “Lectio divina, Mary and the Spirit” all what I say about Mary and how she works in us, transforms us at her image, and how she is our role model for the Lectio divina, how she listened to the angel and put into practise the Words he was telling her from God.

One last point: remember that when the couple meets and pray to do lectio divina together it has a specific goal. It is mainly the couple that is searching together, the will of God on both of them. It can be on something they have in common, it can be on something that one should work on, and the other gives his/her support and prayer. I don't think the will of God that will appear will be on different subjects.

Of course, since the CLD will be done only few around once (I think maximum two times), this means that the couple has time to practice. Nothing can stop the couple from starting immediately to practice because when God speaks, it is not good to delay.

(to be continued)