172- Teaching Spiritual Life to ‘Committed’ but not ‘Spiritual’ Parishioners

To start with, let us address the title itself and define the expressions. If we consider the unusual aspect of the title in general, and if we pass the test of not thinking it is meant to be provocative, we can say that this ‘unpleasant’ ‘categorisation’ of the words: ‘committed parishioner’, ‘spiritual’ is in fact artificial or harmful or reductive. However, on the contrary, it is based on the observation of the action of the Holy Spirit in us, observation and analysis made in a deeper and more articulate way.

God doesn’t make us saints in one day. He needs our collaboration, our personal decision, the use of our free will. From our position, from who we are in relation to who He is, there is need for a long and arduous journey of growth and transformation. This journey is described by great doctors of the Church like St John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila and many others, but maybe not in such detail. So, in order for us to understand how the Holy Spirit works in us, the different types and levels of His action, it is important to study the writings of these doctors of the Church carefully and with great attention.

One of the most important turning points in Christian life, a turning point that in a sense introduces the human being to a new world, The Spiritual World, comes in meeting with Jesus, in the beginning of a Personal Relationship with Him, and in the experience of the first type of action of the Holy Spirit.

When we consider Baptism, then, we see it is a Divine Seed in us, which parents and godparents, educators and priests help to nurture. But there is a decisive moment when the Divine Seed, with its divine power is awakened in us. It could occur slowly, progressively, or suddenly, abruptly, but without a doubt it will have to unfold. This is the turning point.

Note: it is important to remember that we do not understand or grasp everything in the experience of others. Many things can be developing in the ”background” of one’s being. And by “background” I am not alluding to the unconscious or subconscious or any of these psychology realities – though, of course, they deserve our attention and consideration. What I mean by the aforesaid expression is the perception-awareness of any experience and expression it. Not all that is lived by a person has a perfectly well-shaped perception and awareness. Only very few people can even express clearly to themselves what is happening to themselves and even less so can people express it well to others. In giving an account to themselves or to others, of their daily life, some people, might overlook important elements that they are experiencing while underlining others. In this sense a person can very well undergo the experience we are talking about but not have enough perception, awareness, culture, to “see” it as relevant. It is not necessarily a defect at all. It is just the human condition.

A blatant example is the fact that St Teresa makes no relevant and consistent mention of an experience similar to what St John of the Cross describes in the Dark Night of the Spirit. Does this mean that she didn’t go through it? No. It could simply mean that suffering is so present in her life, on a daily basis, that it starts to have less relevance. She states that there is not a day that passed in her life without physical suffering such as tummy aches, headaches and the like. Therefore, to her underlining suffering might become less important or needed. It was her daily bread. As a reward for greater and more meticulous attention to detail, if we look carefully into the many chapters of the sixth mansions we will notice that there is a point where she does mention suffering.

The Formator in Spiritual Life or the Teacher of spiritual theology’s ideal student is the person who has had this experience, this awakening. Why? He or she will be better understood in his teaching. His teaching will be sought after with great interest and even passion. As St Teresa of Avila states repeatedly: the person who has had the experience will understand her better. And in certain circumstances she adds: otherwise what I am saying will seem gibberish. This is the fate of the teacher of Spiritual Life.

Before we move on to the following point let us remind ourselves of a coined expression that is highly useful here: Second Conversion. Hearing Jesus’ Call, discovering His Presence, initiating a relationship with Him, can happen (and does) to people who are already Christian. Therefore, we don’t call this new step “conversion” but we prefer to call it “second conversion”. “Second” because the person is already Christian. But the Seed of Baptism exists in a non-active state. It doesn’t mean that the person is neglecting her Christian life. No, on the contrary, one will find that it is a person a person who is fully committed in her parish, active, helping others, a regular Mass goer, morally very sound, not committing mortal sins and who goes regularly to confession! Having all these qualities can puzzle many greatly. How come a person like this can still not yet have had the “second conversion”? How strange! Indeed, it looks very strange. St Teresa of Avila underlines it and Blessed Fr. Marie Eugene, see I Want to see God, also underlines this apparent contradiction: on one hand we are faced with a “good catholic”, a good “church goer”, a morally sound person, a committed person, and on the other hand, we don’t find in this  person the relationship with Jesus, the powerful outpouring of the Holy Spirit described by St Teresa of Avila after her conversion! Both St Teresa and Blessed Marie Eugene say that this person is very rational. Reason is in control. I would rather say: order. Because the person might not be intellectual. St Teresa has this beautiful expression in the third mansions when talking about such people: love didn’t bring them ‘out of reason’. By this she means: the love of Jesus, the action of the Holy Spirit, didn’t unlock the strongbox of (good) habits of that person, opening “reason” to a wider range of perspectives, led by Love! Love breaks the mould. Love make us do foolish things for the beloved. Love offers a new horizon. Love is a relationship. Experiencing Jesus’ Love gives a divine “drunkenness”.

Spiritual Life

How can we then describe the Spiritual Life of this person? What defines “spiritual” in fact comes at a further stage. But can we say that there is no spiritual life in this person? Would that be correct? Could we call it: dormant? This is a delicate subject. There could be little bursts of fervent spiritual life, graces can be received, but the person is not progressing yet, and the weight of his/her good habits could return back. The moral weight of the life they lead can sometime cover any new perspective on spirituality. Incorrect or misleading information about any “spiritual life” or “mystical life” can/could dissuade as well.

Despite these few attempts prompted by God, the person could go revert to type and continue to go around in circles. The person will seem to be spiritually alive, truly alive, but will hit a wall, the wall of the Second Conversion. The person could be trying repeatedly, but without success.

All the moral values of their life, of their Christian life, all the sound commitments in their life can become – paradoxically – a good screen!  A little bit of pride mixed in with the commitments and the values can indeed hinder the needed humility that will pave the way for the new stage. The result is that we can then say that the person is “going in circles”, hitting a wall and bouncing back, or being simply convinced that her the life she is committed to is what it is to be a “good catholic”.

Can we Trigger the Second Conversion?

There is an important question that now arises: why is conversion not triggered? Are there reasons for this? Is there a moment in the life of this committed person where he or she can hear Jesus’ Call more clearly? And put more directly: can we trigger the Second Conversion? To a certain extent and to my limited knowledge, I am not aware that this question has been studied. Why so? Theologically, we are used to be constantly led by a very important truth: God is free, He gives His grace to whoever He wants, when He wants, the way He wants! The sovereign freedom of God cannot be touched! It has to be preserved at all costs. Plus, our knowledge and wisdom cannot determine when and how it is best for a specific person to undergo the Second Conversion. Is he or she ready? In reality, however, we haven’t studied the subject enough, and in greater depth.

Here we are, standing in front of the average committed parishioner, on one hand wanting earnestly to invite him or her to attain greater depth, to a new experience, and on the other hand we don’t know what to do and how to do it.

St Teresa’s of Avila Conversion

St Teresa of Avila’s life can be also viewed as a paradigm, a teaching, a type for the Church. It can be seen as a micro example of the macro reality of the Church; the church of her time and the church of our time. Under certain aspects little has changed, and the need remains the same.

When I say that her life is a paradigm or example or type for the Church I allude, for instance, to what happens to the prophet Ezekiel: overnight God makes him lose his wife (see Ez 24). By acting this way God offers Ezekiel as an example: here Ezekiel embodies God himself and Ezekiel’s wife is God’s People. So, the story of Ezekiel is in fact a reflection of the story of God himself. In our case, God gives us St Teresa of Avila as an embodiment of the story of the Church (not of God).

Little statue that moved St Teresa during her Second Coversion

In fact, her church struggled for more than three centuries to reform itself. One can actually see it! Council after council sees the Church, deciding to reform herself, making important statements, but in the end, implementation-wise, she fails. For three centuries this is ongoing! The desire for reform is truly present. The awareness for the need to reform is most certainly there! But to no avail. Martin Luther will then try. But his trial does not employ God’s methods: he departs from the Church – though politics and ethnic reasons are certainly a great factor as well – and tries something different. However, it is not in this way that one reforms an existing body. Reforming an existing body is a most difficult task. Leaving it to wither and die and working with a new “body” is so much easier! But it is this the way? Anyway, this is not our subject. Our subject is how St Teresa is a personified parable of the Church for the Church. How her experience embodies the experience of the Church.

Therefore, St Teresa of Avila’s experience is transformed into a clear message from God to the Church, where God invites her to gaze at her life, and where we come to notice that it reflects ours, as a church and as individuals.

Teresa, then, becomes a nun at the age of twenty and for nineteen years will be living as a nun: committed, spiritual, obedient, but not yet having had the “second conversion”! So, it is only around the age of forty that she undergoes her second conversion and change. Before that she indeed received graces, sporadically, but they sadly didn’t have any serious consequences - something important was lacking. After that, the graces of God start to be poured out, her life totally changes! She remains a nun, but everything has changed! As she states in her Autobiography, from that moment on, it was God’s life and history in her, not hers.

Her second conversion is fundamental. But the temptation is to understand it in a fatalist way by repeating the fundamental principle we stated above about God’s sovereign freedom: “God is totally free to give His Grace to whoever He wants, when He wants, the way He wants”. In doing so on the one hand we state a fundamental truth, but on the other hand, we do not balance it with other truths, but instead we fall into a heretical deviation, not seeing : 1- what God does, the repeated attempts to make a move towards us or attract us! 2- the human response in general and in particular that can hinder or facilitate the closeness to the Second Conversion!

Are we facing a moody and unpredictable God? If this fundamental truth is absolutised and not balanced properly with other equally important truths, we end up not understanding who God is and what He wants to do! God is love: a burning love who wants to give Himself to us -  this is his constant state: a fire, a thirst, a Divine Desire to give Himself to us!! Who can understand this thirst?! Hence, when we say that God gives His grace “when he wants to”, we seem to imply that for some days or months or epochs He burns with love for us, and at other moments in history, in the history of this specific person, He is rather calm, cool, and not interested in giving Himself! As if He could change his nature! Of course, this is simply utter nonsense! But this is what we do unconsciously when we absolutise this fundamental truth: God is free! He gives Himself when He wants! But God is love. He wants…He wants now, now, now! No delay! Fire is fire! It can’t become water! “I am a devouring Fire”! “I am Jealous”! say the Scriptures. What does this mean? It simply means to burn with the desire to give oneself.

Thus, if Teresa’s second conversion is delayed for almost twenty years, if the reformation of the Church is delayed for centuries, it is not that this pleases God, or that from these lengths of time He is busy doing something different! Or that He “went to the market” as Prophet Elijah describes concerning the gods of Baal.

This indeed, by contrast, gives us a glimpse of an urgent much needed endeavour on our part: to ask ourselves and indeed study the reasons why the Second Conversion failed to take place in the case of St Teresa and learn from it for ourselves and for the life of the Church. What caused it to happen? How come she was not only a good Christian, but also a committed nun, spiritual, faithful and obedient, yet despite all that she wasn’t triggering the second conversion. Can we trigger it then? What can we learn from her second conversion? What can we learn studying this turning point, from looking at her life before, and during the second conversion and of course her life afterwards! 

Studying St Teresa of Avila’s Conversion

Considering the “second conversion” of St Teresa not as proceeding not from a pure decision of God, but from the human perspective i.e. what as individuals we can do, what we can avoid,… is a necessity in honour of  God’s action: it was He who sent us a Prophet, i.e. Teresa, to teach us, to show us a real second conversion,  a proper Reformation.

It is surprising to see to which extent the conversion of St Teresa of Avila, her second conversion, is so little touched on, studied and the elements which embody it are so rarely studied or examined in greater depth! We don’t seem to see any relevance in it! Like bees attracted by the flower, when we take her writings into our hands we fly to the flower of the graces that the Lord is showering upon her after her second conversion, we stand in awe in the face of all that God has given her - all that He made her achieve, her foundations, her books, her apostolic endeavours! But we hardly stop to consider that this nun had been for no less than twenty years a nun in a monastery not creating any ripples, a simple nun, with hardly any relevant events in her life and hardly any effects on the Church to speak of. She could have continued like this for the rest of her life, had she not undergone her second conversion! For some reason this does not seem to move us! We take God’s graces for granted! Indeed, we have a very weird understanding of God’s behaviour! We end up not gaining a great deal from this living Parable that He gave us: St Teresa’s life, her struggles in an turbulent sea for twenty years!

It is therefore mandatory for whoever would like to work in the Spiritual Life, teaching it, conveying it to others, to study with great care Teresa’s part in her conversion, the reproaches that God made against her, the different elements of her conversion, the stages of it. The benefits that come out of this study are simply beyond human comprehension, because they will enable us to understand the very known - but still “mysterious” for the majority of us – passage from the third to the fourth mansions: how can we facilitate, remove the obstacles for this crossing! What can we do to “open” that Divine Fountain in us, the Fountain of the Outpouring of God’s Graces, of “Grace upon Grace”.

Conclusion

It is of the utmost importance to focus on St Teresa’s Second Conversion in order to extract from this research and study, the elements of teaching that God gives us through her life and teaching.

She tells us about her conversion in her Autobiography: Chapter 9 and the chapters that precede it and Chapters 23-24. As a result, from this first stage in the study, having gathered the elements, one will find them crystallised and synthesised in her book: The Way of Perfection. In fact, this book in its entirety and in its structure, is the living embodiment of the teaching that we can find about her Second Conversion and which we can be viewed in her Autobiography. This book holds the secret that is needed to “trigger” the Second Conversion and therefore all the Graces that God wants to pour into us… “grace upon grace”.

Jean Khoury

Holy Week 2018
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A Day with Blessed Fr. Marie-Eugene of the Child Jesus

26th November - 2016 - Spending a day with Blessed Father Marie-Eugene of the Child Jesus (1894-1967) to discover his life, writings, teaching and spirituality. On the 19th of November 2016 has been beatified at Avignon (France).

Who is Father Marie Eugene?

Henri Grialou was born in 1894 at Le Gua, Aveyron (southern France). Henri‘s call to the priesthood came when Henri was only ten. He entered the seminary at Rodez in 1911.

Interrupting his studies for the priesthood, he volunteered for the army in 1913. War followed and for five years Henri Grialou took part in major campaigns at Argonne, Verdun and Chemin des Dames … In 1919 he was able to resume his seminary studies at Rodez.

Whilst on a retreat in preparation for his ordination to the diaconate, on the evening of 13 December 1920, Henri received a sudden overwhelming revelation that God wanted him to enter Carmel.

On 4th February 1922, Henri Grialou was ordained a priest. He entered Carmel at Avon (Fontainebleau) on 24 February 1922, taking the name Marie-Eugene of the Child Jesus.

In 1929, three young women who ran a private school in Marseilles, came to Fr Marie-Eugene for advice and direction on their lives. Among them was Marie Pila (1896-1974). From this first meeting a new spiritual family, Notre-Dame de Vie, would be born a few years later.

In 1937 he was then elected as a member of the General Council of the Order in Rome, where he remained until 1955, apart from the war years of 1939-1945. More specifically, he was given the responsibility for all the French speaking Carmelite monasteries.

On his return to France in 1955, he was elected Provincial (1957-60 and again in 1963-67). He closely observed the upheavals of the 1950s and the new initiatives for the apostolate in the Church.

From 1965 onwards, his health gradually deteriorated. After many months of severe suffering, he died on Easter Monday, 27th March 1967, the feast day he had previously established to celebrate Notre-Dame de Vie.

What content is covered?

1. Knowing his life.

2. An introduction to his Masterpiece: "I want to see God".

3. An introduction to his teaching.

4. St Therese. Our Lady. The Holy Spirit.

Where and when does the day take place?

The day will take place at the church of St Mary of the Angels, Moorhouse Road, Bayswater, London, W2 5DJ on the 26th of November 2016 from 10:30 am to 4:30 pm. (Mass is at 10:00am.)

How do I sign up for the day?

In order to register, please either:

- Email schoolofmarylondon@gmail.com with your name and contact details and we will be in touch with you.

136: St Teresa of Avila 15/16: Evangelisation

One important question is left for us to address and it can be very easily overlooked: what St Teresa has to say to us about Evangelisation.

She is a woman great of heart, full of compassion for the Church of her time, clearly seen in Chapters 1 and 3 of the Way of Perfection, where we witness her enormous suffering because of the Protestant Reformation, not to mention all the disastrous news she was receiving from France. It is true that all the graces she received greatly spurred her on to increase her desire to reform her life and create a monastery. It is true, too, that the powerful grace of witnessing the place she deserved in Hell, had she not been saved by the Lord's mercy, consistently urged her on to start a new life. We know that she founded seventeen monasteries, which is a momentous achievement, given the means she had and the short time it took to accomplish. But all this does not necessarily give any clear indication of 'evangelisation'.

How can St Teresa's teaching shed a light on the very hot topic of Evangelisation? It is very rare to compare Evangelisation with the fact of sitting on the top of a very high tower, in the guardhouse, having a wider and deeper view with being capable of measuring the heights and depths of God; in fact all these elements are necessary in order to spread the Gospel. In one word, in order to evangelise, we need to find, in contemplation, the supernatural wisdom of God. Christ wants us to be 'witnesses'! Witnesses of the Risen Lord. Yet, to bear witness necessitates seeing the person, meeting him, actually touching him and finally contemplating him. This high 'tower', this living and contemplative dimension of our relationship with Christ is necessary in order to bear witness to Him. This is very seldom underlined.

Unfortunately this tower must definitely be built! It requires a steady effort aiming for growth and not being spread too thinly. Inevitably there is a constant referral back to the question of the spiritual life and of its priority for us. The reason is simple: one can impart to others only what one has first assimilated. This demands extreme care in nurturing a deep relationship with Christ first, in order to grow spiritually. On a tower, the place of the guardian or night watchman is not at mid-height of the tower, but at its summit! Therefore it is vital to reach the summit in order to have clarity of vision and not to act with haste by lowering one's gaze to mid-height only. In a sense, this is how evangelising progresses: Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? (Luke 14:28) However, do we pay attention to and acknowledge this important fact of 'completing the tower'? After all, it's only logical that a task be completed. In St Teresa's case, then, after her conversion and from the moment she started to receive a steady stream of 'grace upon grace', would she not have felt the urge to do something for the Lord? But with lack of experience and discernment as yet still growing, the process would necessarily take some time to be completed! Herein, therefore, lies the reason for the Lord's delay in allowing her to do any important work for Him – at least until she was ready for the grace of 'Spiritual Engagement'.

Loving one's neighbour is of paramount importance, and this from day one, as Teresa's growth in grace was to reveal! Charity is fundamental and does transform us in Christ! But charity is not necessarily 'Evangelisation'. It is more limited in time and content. A great Master in Spiritual Life of last century, the Carmelite Father Marie Eugene Grialou, saw this point with great clarity. In the forties and fifties he wrote a great 'summa' of Spiritual Theology in the form of a substantial commentary of St Teresa's book the Interior Castle, its title being I want to see God. Toward the end of the magnum opus, he endeavours to write a small treatise on the relationship between 'spiritual growth' and 'apostolate' according to St Teresa. His intuition is of rare brilliance! Why? Because being able to recognize the link between them is highly pertinent! In fact, one of the members of his secular institution, Notre Dame de Vie, transformed it into a wider study and published it as a book. That this work is of fundamental significance cannot be denied.

Let us expand a little on this brilliantly intuitive work. It is very rare to find an analysis on the direct relationship between, on the one hand, the spiritual growth, transformation and sanctification in the agent of evangelisation and, on the other hand, the quality and great fruitfulness of his apostolate, ministry and evangelisation. St Paul clearly endorses this in that he says 'without charity' all that he does is mere gesturing (1 Corinthians 13:1 : If I speak with the tongues of men, and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal). It is God alone who makes us bear fruit, His love pouring into us adding greater merit to all that we do. If we are not connected to God, either the divine stream of the grace of God will not flow, or it will flow only feebly, crippled by our clumsiness.

Paradoxically we rarely address these issues either theoretically or pastorally. The question is 'Why'? Because our starting point is that the apostolate and the ministry are separate areas to be worked on, we are blind to the labourer's being ill-equipped for this! As the apostolate is mandatory, hardly anybody analyses the conditions for increasing fruitfulness in the vineyard, resulting consequently in the quality of the labourer not being addressed. Instead, only their intellectual formation and theological qualifications are considered, to the detriment of the spiritual life. Their spiritual life is considered as being a private matter, of an interior dialogue that has no immediate connection with the possible fruits that might result.

It is true that these are profound issues, but of necessity they must be addressed, because it is on them that the fruits of our life depend, it is they which reflect God's true intention when he chose us. 'You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit – fruit that will last' (John 15:16). It is not surprising, therefore, to hear criticism of the contemplative cloistered style of life of St Teresa's nuns such as: 'what good are they doing?', 'wouldn't it be better for them to come out of their enclosure in order to be useful to their neighbour instead of remaining enclosed doing nothing?' This is a blatantly superficial judgment that fails to appreciate or understand how the Gospel spreads, or what occurs in the hidden recesses of peoples' hearts. When St Teresa writes to her sisters, she often asks them to be 'such as', namely, transformed by the Lord, so that their prayers become more powerful (see Way of Perfection Chapters 1 and 3)! 'to be such as' goes a long way in Teresa'a view! It is not a passing comment in her writings, but in fact encapsulates the entire process of the spiritual growth that it implies and that should be implemented, that is: the closer one gets to God the more one is transformed into Him, and gains – by the grace of God – an increasing, an extraordinary, 'hold' on God, which enables them to be instrumental in the salvation of more people. In sum, to 'evangelise' is first and foremost to obtain Christ's grace for others. It is true that Christ obtained everything for us on the Cross. But this salvation needs to be communicated to others, and the Lord's plan for us is that we participate in this work, as St Paul specifies: we are the collaborators of the Lord (1 Co 3:9; 2 Co 6:1), of his grace.There is a need, after all, for all the graces obtained by Christ on the cross (our salvation) to be passed on to our brothers. Surely this is the basic requirement for any evangelisation! One can preach ad infinitum, but if this is not done while being spurred on by the divine life in us, it will be like 'sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal' as St Paul says.

Are those, then, who plunge into action, into apostolate, connected to God, to divine charity? Preaching is not one 'job' amongst others! It is sacred work! My Father works always says the Lord (John 5:17), and the Son sees the Father doing, and he does the same' (John 5:19) - these are important indications of real 'work' and real divine 'action' in the Gospel of St John. They are put there in order to enlighten us, for if Christ, who is the Evangeliser and the Witness par excellence, proceeded in this way, how can we evade it? This greatly intuitive concept of Fr. Marie-Eugene on the relationship between 'spiritual growth' and 'apostolate' is summed up at the end of his book I want to see God, mentioned above, and deserving great praise should be pondered on at length. Here, going through her book the Interior Castle, Mansion after Mansion, he reviews the relationship between the growth of the love of God in us and our apostolate. He analyses the state of the human being at each stage, and questions whether it is advisable for him to plunge into the apostolate and to which extent, or whether prudence is needed. He questions the state of balance between the human and the divine parts in the person, and whether the person is ready for greater things. 'Is the person rooted deeply enough in God to undertake great endeavours?' he asks, and 'how does the divine work in the person?' And so forth. Not only does he address these questions, but 'pondering' on these questions is also essential and reminds us of that other cause for pondering: For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ (Luke 14:28)

Two Questions

Instantly two urgent questions emerge : do we have to wait until we reach the summit in order to initiate interaction with our neighbour? If this is the case, then, why do the cloistered Carmelites not go out and evangelise – at least the ones who have reached the summit of the Spiritual Life?

The reply of St Teresa herself in answer to the first question is to lay great stress on the importance of love of neighbour in order to grow (see Chapter 13 in this book). Decidedly, not only is this a beneficial practice, but it is also a vital one for our spiritual life, because it facilitates spiritual growth, enlarges our capacity to love and increasingly attracts inner graces. Without it, there will definitely be no growth! We are called to practise it from day one! We simply cannot seek Christ the Head of the Church and neglect his Body, the Church, our brothers and sisters. Here it is necessary to add that it is during the Prayer of the Heart, namely during those long daily moments of silent prayer, that the Holy Spirit enlightens our hearts and minds concerning our neighbour. One would be surprised to discover within the 'science of the human being' that the Holy Spirit unquestionably communicates with us during the Prayer of the Heart. This having been said, the meaning of 'evangelisation' does not include throwing oneself into a project, a mission, even a specific ecclesial one, or an apostolate. From day one, Christ simply asks us to forgive our neighbour, to help him, to see Christ in the person of the poor, the suffering, the one who is in need. By contrast to start work on a project, a mission, is quite another matter..

The second question concerning the cloistered nuns is both 'cheeky' and pertinent. Who says that St Teresa's sisters are not taking care of their neighbour? From the beginning of their cloistered life till their last breath they work for the salvation of souls, and more especially for priests (read Chapters 1 and 3 of Way of Perfection). Is it possible for the Love of Christ to be poured into the heart of a human being for the latter not to be filled with supernatural compassion for his neighbour? The condition, in fact, for a young girl's entry into a Discalced Carmelite Monastery is that she dedicate her prayer and her sacrifices to priests. Her entire life (her efforts, sufferings, sacrifices, prayers...) is oriented towards and centred on this intention. It may be better therefore to reword the question another way: 'if one of the nuns has reached 'spiritual engagement' or even 'spiritual marriage' with Christ, what then becomes her method of evangelising?' In this light, seen externally the impression given is that, enclosed between four walls, she does not do a great deal! The question as ever, then, remains: what is she doing?

Let us take as an example one of the best representatives of St Teresa's daughters, St Therese of the Child Jesus. She perfectly embodies the teaching and spirit of St Teresa of Avila. If we examine her life more closely, especially from the year 1893 to her death in 1897, what she 'does' will become eminently clear. It is true externally her life looks very simple with no great changes from 1893 onwards including that she will be responsible for the Novices, will pray especially for two priests entrusted to her prayers, and will become gravely ill of tuberculosis and die young. Her life goes unnoticed by anyone outside of the Monastery, but also by those inside it. Let us remember that after her death, the Church started her process of Beatification, with the Diocesan Process, and that when one of the nuns learned of this she said: 'Sister Therese, a saint? What did she do? Nothing!' Very true – she did not do anything remarkable, noticeable or of visible impact! But would this be St Teresa's point of view and analysis of the situation? If we read her works, or merely remember what she recommends is done in the seventh mansions, we certainly will reach a different conclusion. St Teresa, in fact, used to say (see Chapters 1 and 3 of Way of Perfection) that she wanted her nuns 'to be in such a way' that their prayers would have greater empire and influence over Christ. What does it mean to be 'in such a way'? It alludes to their transformation in the love of God. St Therese would understand what has already been mentioned above: the supernatural power of love that circulated from then on in her veins, resulted in her being able to take part directly in the action of the grace of God within the Church! An external view of the Church reveals it is composed of different distinct members. However, an internal view reveals it to be one Body, wherein the same Divine Blood (the Holy Spirit) circulates. If this life's blood in a member is blocked, the blockage is dire! The Vatican II Council, with its new awareness of the Church as Jesus's Body, clarifies this as it gives us a greater perception of what is known as the Communion of Saints. Today, therefore, we have a better understanding of sin and that one person's sin will affect not only that person and God, but it will also affect the Church. This is the reason for asking for forgiveness not only of God, but also of the Church. So then, if we allow this flow of the love of God in our heart to be deployed, or even if we increase the power of that flow, we get different results. The process is reminiscent of the action of a pump, although Therese herself uses a different comparison - the 'lever'. Concerning the action of God she says:

All the saints have understood this, and more especially those who filled the world with the light of the Gospel teachings. Was it not in prayer that St. Paul, St. Augustine, St. John of the Cross, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Francis, St. Dominic, and so many other famous Friends of God have drawn out this divine science which delights the greatest geniuses? A scholar has said: 'Give me a lever and a fulcrum and I will lift the world.' What Archimedes was not able to obtain, for his request was not directed by God and was only made from a material viewpoint, the saints have obtained in all its fullness. The Almighty has given them as fulcrum: HIMSELF ALONE; as lever: PRAYER which burns with a fire of love. And it is in this way that they have lifted the world; it is in this way that the saints still militant lift it, and that, until the end of time, the saints to come will lift it.'(Manuscript C, end)

In order to understand more fully the 'prayer which burns with a fire of love' Therese will take another image where the Church is compared to a great body composed of different members; which member will she be? 'In the heart of the Church I will be Love' (Manuscript B) is the inevitable answer. She will not be the heart, she has been in fact transformed into 'blood'! She is so transformed in the Holy Spirit, that she becomes, by participation, the Holy Spirit (Love) himself. St John of the Cross will say something as powerful in his own incomparable way: first, 'the soul gives God (the Holy Spirit) to God (the Father)' and, 'the soul gives God to whoever she wants' (see his work Living Flame of Love). What a supreme hold the human being has on God!!

This seems to belong to another world! Only Spiritual Theology is capable of explaining to us what happens in the depths of the human heart in the transformative journey. It was a great part of St Teresa's mission to lift the veil over the world of the interior life which, while invisible to the naked eye, is very real. She offers to her readers an 'inner garden' so they can walk within it. As described in the early chapters, she could be compared entirely to Christopher Columbus the explorer of a new world, and to Diego de Ribera the cartographer. Or even closer to us, to Freud and Jung. There are indubitably entire continents to be discovered within ourselves which develop with our spiritual life! It is not because they are invisible that they do not exist. Reference to microprocessors or to nano-technologies proves this without question! They are invisible to the naked eye, but they are quite real. Like today's electronic microscopes or scanners, Spiritual Theology, a science shining with such power through St Teresa of Avila, is the right tool: it allows us to 'see' what the naked eye of Theology cannot see.

A return to details of Therese's life is pertinent here, especially to the fact that her body is prey to a terminal illness – tuberculosis. More significant, however, is the massive internal struggle occurring in her soul, especially starting from Easter of 1896 – God's introducing her into the underground world of sinners. Reflect for a moment on the beautiful passage we read every Christmas, at midnight Mass: The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. (Isaiah 9:2) This text mentions 'the land of deep darkness' or in another translation: 'the land of the shadow of death'. But what is this 'death'? It is nothing less than separation from God! This is a terrible thought! And St Teresa says it in the Seventh Mansions where she advocates the need for great compassion for people in this state, the state of mortal sin.... people who dwell in the obscurity of the First Mansions, far from God. She is insistent about the need to remember them in our prayers and that this is a momentous act of mercy on our part. Remember, too, that many years after experiencing it, she still had a vivid impression and image in her mind of the vision from God of her place in Hell, had He not had mercy upon her!

In Therese's case here, not only does she remember these people, but she is literally introduced by God himself - as a result of a greater Love - into their world! Through the Holy Spirit, she is united to them, becoming out of her transformation in Christ the Love of God himself, being imbued in all her being by that which invades them: darkness. Here it is to be understood that only a soul who has reached the summit of the Tower (union with Christ), has the capacity (which is at this stage not hers, because she is now being moved by God) to bear the weight of that contact with darkness. And this is done out of love, by the action of the Holy Spirit, by virtue of her transformation in Christ. St Paul says it well: I am completing in my flesh what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for His body, that is, the church (Colossians 1:24). We know very well that nothing is lacking in the Lord's Passion. He is the only one who is fully God and fully man, the only one who obtained salvation for all on the Cross. But, what is lacking is not salvation itself, it is the application of this salvation to more people, to those who are distant from Christ. What is lacking is discovering a charitable soul, a true Bride of Christ, who wants to communicate this salvation to her brothers, her new brothers! The magnificent understanding conveyed by St Teresa and St Therese is that Jesus does not only desire souls to become his Brides, reaching 'Union with Christ', but He also desires Brides and Mothers, Spiritual Mothers, capable of bearing new children for Him! St Paul, a man, says: My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you,(Galatians 4:19), indicating that there is no single way of evangelising, of engaging in the apostolate, or of acting. On the contrary, it is of central importance, first, to enter the real laboratory of transformation and evangelisation of the Church. God allowed St Teresa to undergo the journey of growth in order to reach this goal.

From the Seventh Mansions, the Mansion of the Lord himself, a new interaction starts, that of entering into the inner depths of the human being in need of the salvation realised by Christ, he who is in need of being carried.... he for whom verbal evangelisation is insufficient. Here the focus must be on Our Lady, Mother of Jesus! Did she give voice to any remarkable words of external evangelisation? Did she have any apostolate? Has she evangelised? No. And she is the mother of us all. Her mission belongs to all Christians, and is at the reach of everybody, especially the humblest of us. She is the mother of evangelising and the mother of evangelisation. Indeed, it is fitting to say that everything starts with her and ends in her. We, too, can emulate Our Lady being enclosed within four walls, and still hold the entire world in our hands and in our heart, and yet make it turn. After all, the sun continues to rise everyday. One has only to see and to pose the question: because of whom?!

Conformity with Our Lady

“On the octave day of All Saints I spent two or three very troublesome days [...] While I was at Matins that same night, the Lord, through an intellectual vision so intense it almost seemed to be an imaginative one, placed Himself in my arms as in the painting of the fifth agony. This vision caused me great fear. For it was so clear, and He was so close to me that I wondered if it was an illusion. He told me: "Don't be surprised by this, for My Father is with your soul in an incomparably greater union."

This vision has so remained up till now. What I said of our Lord lasted more than a month. Now it is gone. (St Teresa of Avila, Spiritual Testimonies, Seville 8^th of November 1575)

By placing Himself in the arms of St Teresa, just as tradition represents Him in the hands of Our Lady in the descent from the cross (in fact the sixth sorrow of Our Lady), a real similarity between Our Lady of Compassion and St Teresa is established. We understand her fears of being deluded or misled. Herein we discover her supreme conformity with our Lady of Compassion, rarely given – it seems – with such supporting evidence in the entire history of the Church. Jesus has granted St. Teresa the grace of conformity to Our Lady's life, leading her to the fullness of the Mystery of Our Lady. The last statement above could mean that this grace lasted an entire month, in which case this could be the longest Marian grace St Teresa received. Initially on 22^nd of July 1572 St Teresa had requested the Lord to allow her to take the place of Mary Magdalen at the foot of the cross. Here Christ is giving her infinitely more.... the place of his mother.

St Teresa would not mention any other Marian grace after this one. Was it because this was unsurpassable? It is noteworthy that this grace was received three years after the grace of Spiritual Marriage, which rooted St Teresa in the Spiritual Maternity of Our Lady, in her compassion for Christ's Body, dead as it was. Also, more trials would occur in her life, beginning a month later when she received the order from her superiors to stop founding more monasteries and to retire in one of them. At the same time the Inquisition paid a visit to Teresa in the Seville monastery after a denunciation by an ex-novice. It was the beginning of a great storm hitting her reformed order. Then too, St John of the Cross was kidnapped and imprisoned. To make matters worse, the discalced had now to submit to the orders of the Calced Carmelites. In a word, her entire new world, in one fell swoop, seemed to collapse – Teresa was certainly living her 'motherhood' in a painful way. Being the woman she was at that junction however, she would show a great deal of patience and strength, moving heaven and earth in order to save her reform and fulfil her God-given mission. This mission would be almost completed at the Chapter at Alcalà (beginning of March 1581) that consecrated the autonomy of her Reformation. During this month, echoing some words heard interiorly in 1572 (see below), Teresa said: I can speak like Simeon, because I saw in the Order of Our Lady the realisation of what I wished (Letter 361, March 1581).

On another day the Lord told me this: "Do you think, daughter, that merit lies in enjoyment? No, rather it lies in working and suffering and loving. Haven't you heard that St. Paul rejoiced in heavenly joys only once and that he suffered often. Look at my whole life filled with suffering, and only in the incident on Mount Tabor do you hear about my joy. When you see My Mother holding Me in her arms, don't think she enjoyed those consolations without heavy torment. From the time Simeon spoke those words to her, My Father gave her clear light to see what I was to suffer. The great saints who lived in deserts, since they were guided by God, performed severe penances; and besides this, they waged great battle with the devil and with themselves. They spent long periods without any spiritual consolation. Believe, daughter, that My Father gives greater trials to anyone whom He loves more; and love responds to these. How can I show you greater love than by desiring for you what I have desired for Myself? Behold these wounds, for your sufferings have never reached this point. Suffering is the way of truth. By this means you will help me weep over the loss of those who follow the way of the world, and you will understand that all your desires, cares, and thoughts must be employed in how to do the opposite." (St Teresa of Avila, Spiritual Testimonies, Probably Avila, 1572)

84: "our actions", growing in love & witnessing Jesus

Question: While working on my plan for a pilot project here in C. for Forming Intentional Disciples last night, I came to a question that made me ponder. Reading Sherry Weddell's book, "Forming Intentional Disciples", she points to some fundamental principles, including a need for a personal relationship with God and the need for us to witness to others. My question is: Is it our witnessing that is changing others... or is the fact they see genuine love and Jesus in our actions?

My conclusion is the latter. Consequently, it will take 2-5 years (as Sherry says in FID) for the parish to see the fruits of our efforts… because it will take that long to move from the initial ID's stage to truly living the way God wants us to. In a recent talk, Deacon P. calls it "Experiential knowledge vs Cognitive knowledge". When only 60% of Catholics believe in a personal God... what will it take to get the "Experiential knowledge" with God. We should spend some time talking about how to witness when you don't have the experience.

Answer: I would like to clarify the meaning of: "our actions".

First, it is very important when we deal with Jesus' things to do it with humility, understanding that God is the one who calls us, not us who call Him and that God is the one who guides us in everything (if we allow Him to do so). We are NOT in charge of anything, or going on a mission. We humbly try to reply, daily, to His Call. The Grace of God comes before anything else. It is not by "doing" that we will change the world but by "following the Grace of God".

The "go get" mentality, or the "dower" allegedly "practical" mentality can play very nasty tricks to the person who becomes Christian (you call it "Intentional Disciple", I call it: "becoming more Christian"). So we need to be very careful not to play the gods here. This could be an the modern world mentality and tendency. But the norm remains the Gospel, not our mentalities/tendencies.

Therefore the tendency will be to consider "that book", or "that formula", or "that experience" and so forth as a "winning formula" and forget the Grace of God. We do not control God. We are free to love Him, to reply to His love and He is free to love us (first). He loves us… indeed, He never ceases. This is why, by receiving humbly his Love, we try to let it flow to the outside world.

The specific answer to your question is: neither nor. What we need to do is to listen every day and every second, in our heart, to Jesus who calls us and do His will. In the Gospel, we see that sometimes Jesus asked people, healed by Him (who therefore became his disciples), to remain silent and not to say anything; other times He asked them to witness to Him; other times He sent them back to their daily life. Each person is different, each need is different, each time in the Journey with Jesus is different, each mission is different. This is what matters. The general rule is the need for all for growth, but it doesn't happen the same for everybody. The general rule is as well the need to witness to Him, and spread the Gospel. But when and how, we need to see with the Holy Spirit that works in the Church and through the Church.

If He asks me to witness, I have to do it. At any time! Immediately after meeting Him, or years after that. As many times as He asks! If He doesn't, then I need to the other things He asks me to do (according to my state: married, work, family,.. this as well is a mission and a witness to Him.). There are different trees, different type of heights, depths (roots) for these trees.

Now, after that, if He asks me to witness and I do so, will this bear fruits? Not always. St Paul in the big city of Athens had to speak. Did it work? Well it was a big fiasco. Only 2 or 3 persons followed him. Had St Paul known that he wouldn't have fruits, would he have had to consider that it was better not to bear witness to Jesus? Of course not! He had to. When Jesus asks us to do something He doesn't guaranty the success. Obedience remains the highest virtue of the Apostle.

Some soils are good, some others are hard. Some soils allow us to see the fruits of our labour, others need years and others will see the fruits. What a sower has to do, with a detached heart, is: to sow, with a detached heart, obeying to His Master and trusting in Him, and Him only.

On the other hand, the more a person matures in Christ, the more the old man's influence on him/her diminishes, and the more the Grace of God works and make the new man grow in him/her. We are like pregnant women with twins, the old man and the new man, and the food we give (by our acts) either feeds one or the other.

So the more we are purified, the more we are transformed in Jesus, the more the Holy Spirit moves us with greater ease, the more our acts gain in efficiency (they bring more and better results). No doubt at all about that. One act made by a purified person bears infinitely much more fruits for the Church than thousands of acts made by a whole crowd. A saint asked Jesus how many souls He would give her (He would save because of her act) for something she did for Him. She said: 10? He replied: 10.000.

But still, you have saints who preached in places, and never got any result: starting by the Lord Himself in Jerusalem. That was tough. But still, God recompenses them anyway. And they have to do it anyway, so people can't say: we never heard of that, so God's justice is preserved. And you have "devils", who work a lot for the Gospel, preach, make miracles, and still hear Jesus in the end say to them: "go away, evil doers, I don't know you". Why? They were doing their own will, not Jesus' will (Doing a "good thing" is not enough for the apostle; one has to do God's will. This is why Obedience comes first.). If He sends me, then I have to go. If He doesn't send me, then better for me to shut up and stay still, and work on bettering myself (we have to do it anyway), by the Grace of God. This is why Jesus says: spend time removing the big log that pierces your eyes, and then, purified, you'll be able with the Love of God, to remove the straw in the eyes of your brother.

I am not sure I got your question, but this is what comes to mind.

The experience of Jesus, the personal relationship with Him, is a long journey anyway. It usually takes years of growth until one reaches the Union with Jesus, or at least the Spiritual Betrothal. Therefore it is important in each step to discern His will and do it, with the help of His Grace.

Father Marie Eugene, in the end of his book "I want to see God" (the second volume) wrote a small treatise on the relationship - in us - between the Growth of Love and Apostolate/Ministry. Remember, his book is a master piece commentary of the book of St Theresa of Avila: "The Interior Castle". This little study he makes is moved by a genius intuition, which is the need to understand the relationship between the fruitfulness of our actions and our spiritual growth.

He goes through all the stages of growth and explains the risks, the fruits, what we should focus on.

Fr François Regis Wilhelem did pick up this intuition and deepened it in a book (only in French, Italian or Spanish). Excellent work, that should transform our understanding of ministry in the Church.

I hope that helped.

Please pray for me

Jean