198- Minding Our Own Business and Spiritual Life

Question

“You do wrong to find fault, and to try to make everyone see things from your point of view. We desire to be as little children. Now, little children do not know what is best. Everything is right in their eyes. Let us imitate them.”

This quote, above, is from St. Therese on being little. Is she is saying that it is better to keep one’s opinion to oneself? How does this balance with trying to give advice to help people, as I thought she did with some of the Novices?

Answer

First, let us see if the quote is an original quote:

This quote comes from the book written by her sister, Céline (Geneviève), after Therese's death, called: “Conseils et souvenirs” ("Advice and Memories"). This book is not a primary source, but one can reasonably accept the quote as coming from Thérèse. The book is not often read today. But still, I don’t see how or why we would deny this thought to Thérèse.

Understanding Thérèse's Advice

Let us try to understand it. She was in charge of the Novices, teaching them all the time, being extremely vigilant with them! As you can see, she has been caught out doing what she seems to deny to others: giving advice, spotting something that is not right in one of her novices.

The first stage of the answer is to observe what is the duty of state. It is not the responsibility or duty of a nun (who is not the Prioress or the Mistress of Novices) to pay attention to other nun's behaviour (unless it is visible and serious). Her duty of state asks her to be just a nun, totally dedicated to God and paying attention to Him by looking inwardly.

So Sister Thérèse, as having the responsibility (and not the title) of Mistress of Novices, spotted a young novice putting her nose in other nuns’ business, and not paying attention to what God is asking of her. Thérèse points out the fact that we human beings can’t know what is happening in the heart of our brothers and sisters, hence the strong commandment given by the Lord: “do not judge”, the reason being that we can't see into the workings of the heart. Or in other places in the Bible we read: who knows what is in the heart of a human being (see Jeremiah 17:9)?! So to invite the nun to humility and to focus on her task (to be there for God) she advises her to imitate little Children. Thérèse here is doing her duty of state. It wasn’t the nun’s duty of state to find fault in other persons!

One can add two similar pieces of advice:

1- A nun (here not a novice) was scandalised and was suffering because of what was happening in another Monastery. Thérèse on the contrary was very calm and focused on God. Surprised, the nun asked Thérèse how come she could be so calm and was not concerned by what was happening in that other monastery. Thérèse's reply was that this was not their community and that it therefore couldn't in any way trouble her.

One can easily remember the "pagan" philosophical advice, which was very early on adopted by Monasticism:

Don't worry about what you can't change.

Worry only about what you can change.

In fact, we can't change any human being. We can change only ourselves.

2- St. John of the Cross, in his advice given to a religious (see Minor works) says that the monk has to live in the monastery as if he were alone with God, paying attention only to God. Of course this advice today can very easily be felt to be harsh and not even correct, or worse still: against charity etc.

If, instead of boldly criticising a saint of this stature, we try to understand what he says we will find his advice to be very evangelical. The Lord himself, as stated above, is asking us to mind our own business and never judge our brothers or sisters - again, unless it is our duty and responsibility, i.e. unless it is our duty of state (being a parent, a superior, or a spiritual director, etc.). The fundamental reason is: we don't see the human being's heart. 

On the other hand, I hear the objection: it is true that if we see our brother committing something serious the Gospel asks us to talk to him or her and invite them to repent (Fraternal Correction see Mt 18:15-18). And later, if they don't repent, we are asked to report it to the Community. But at the same time the Lord asks us to focus on our own sins, business, problems: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (Luke 6:41)

We should focus on what we can change! This is our primary duty.

Let us also admire the continuation of the advice:

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Luke 6:42). The Lord however seems to retain the possibility that later, having greater clarity, one is able to "remove the speck"; He never explains how.

In fact, when the hypocrisy (the double standards) fades and goes, when the powerful light of the Holy Spirit sheds its insights into our very depths, we discover our nothingness, and we discover the fact that the only exit or solution for us, when face to face with God, is to rely purely and utterly on His Mercy. When the "hypocrisy" goes, after having focused for years on removing the big plank from our eye, we discover that our main duty is to forgive, to exercise mercy on our brothers and intercede for them.

Thérèse gives this advice to a nun: God doesn't want us to be judges of our sisters but agents of God's mercy toward them. God understand our weakness. We can excuse them, find excuses for them. Have a merciful attitude. We can in fact imitate God.

Referring even to the greater Monastic tradition, and the Desert Fathers, we read in their stories that an Elder saw a young monk committing adultery, but remained in peace. Another young monk, who saw the whole thing, was scandalised and troubled, and was surprised to see the Elder remaining peaceful. He asked the Elder, challenging him: didn't you seen the whole thing? The Elder answered: no.

The story here could seem very confusing to many. But each one of the short stories and advice of the Fathers of the Desert bears a lesson, and here is the lesson: do not to lose your inner peace. Why? Because the work of God can only be achieved when one is at peace! Being troubled caused by being scandalised doesn't allows to fulfil God's will and bear  good fruits.

So what do  you do? You choose a higher value (i.e. peace) over a lower or even a sinful one: forfeiting one's inner peace. Again, it is the Lord's advice: "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." The monk preferred to shed tears over his own sins than to spend one minute noticing a grave sin committed by his brother and being troubled by it.

It is possible that this logic won't dawn on many. Time and humility will tell.

When Saint Paul writes to his disciple and spiritual son, Timothy, and gives him advice for the organisation of the Community (see first letter to Timothy). He asks the latter not to appoint as Leader (Bishop) somebody who has been recently converted, because such a person is often still reacting under the influence of the Old Man. As a consequence humility will be lacking, violence will still be there, harsh judgement, etc. Humility and holiness are still a long way from where he is. The experience of God's Mercy and of one's nothingness hasn't sunk in yet. The experience of perceiving that we are all in the same box and that we all need His Mercy and that the only exit for us is his Mercy is not there yet.

We live in a world where everybody thinks they know everything: each person thinks they know about politics, economics, history, etc. Each person seems to have an opinion about everything, people judge their superiors very easily, the Pope for example is constantly being judged and criticised by many and even condemned. This is utterly bad and sinful behaviour. We are not focused on what we can change: ourselves! We do not mind our own business! God will judge each person, God is the judge. We are not. Sometimes we might be called to report something we have noticed to our superior, the one who is in charge, ok, fine, but after reporting it, we should completely forget about it: it does not depends on us, it is not our duty of state, it is not our own business. Otherwise we will spend 80% of our energy on things that are not part of our duties. Once reported, the responsibility falls into the hands of those in charge and not on us! God will not condemn us. We have reported; that's it. Now we can be at peace, it is not our duty anymore.

Summing up

We need to remember that we have two worlds (sometimes called "forums") or two areas in our life: the internal one and the external one. The external one is the world in which we live, people who surround us and we meet, the external events. The internal one is the secret of our heart, of our thoughts, of our conscience and of our relationship with God. The two worlds are not separated but often we pay attention rather to the external one only. All our acts come from our internal world. The visible acts are the ones which cross the line and become visible, noticeable to others, and the other ones, remain in our heart and no-one sees them. This fundamental distinction helps us discern two areas in our duties and two areas wherein our Peace lies.


We can distinguish two aspects in our duties:

a- The external ones: the duties of our state of life (single, married, consecrated) and the duties of our work. ('external forum' duties: they are often public and verifiable by others.)
b- The internal ones: our spiritual life, and our responsibility to answer Jesus' Call and grow spiritually everyday. ('internal forum' duties)

God's will manifests itself to us in two forms: internal duties (our spiritual life) and external ones. Both duties are important and necessary. We often forget our internal duties, i.e. our spiritual life.


Also, since we have talked above about the importance of having peace in our heart, we can distinguish two types of outcomes regarding peace:

a- The external one: we are not promised necessarily to have peace in the following areas: our community, neighbourhood, family, work place, congregation/order, city, country. Our passive thoughts (Temptations). God allows them for our own good in order to strengthen us spiritually. "Lead us not into temptation" doesn't mean keep at bay all challenges and trials. It means, give us the grace to be victorious over temptation when it comes.
We often don't have peace in these external areas because life on earth is not a "paradise" but a type of warfare which challenges us to grow spiritually and as human beings.
b- The internal one: peace with God, peace in the heart, and peace in our active thoughts. Our goal should be necessarily to reach this peace in order to accomplish both our duties, inner and outer. One has to be very vigilant in this regard. We can't accomplish God's duties, our external duties, if we don't have vital inner peace. Of course it doesn't come easily, and one needs to make an effort of conversion. But the paradox is that one can be totally at peace and live in a very difficult outer situation where there is no peace. On one hand we are vigilant to keep the peace in our heart, or regain it, and on the other hand we work and fulfil our external duties.

As we can see only the internal one should be sought after and kept in order to do God's will.
Of course external trouble around us doesn't give us licence to join in, rather we should try to be peacemakers (Rm 14:19: "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."). But if we fail, it is still ok, we are not supposed to succeed always because the freedom of other persons and situations doesn't depend only on us.
It is true also that sometimes we feel in our conscience that God is asking us to witness to the truth, be witnesses to Jesus (and it could create trouble without meaning to); this has to be done with discernment. We can witness to the truth but be unable to convince others about it, and even less to force them to accept it.
Often, despite the fact that we seek peace, we find that there are always difficulties, struggles, misunderstandings, trials. Even   if we have done all that we can, we can't change the situation we can't change others. If we still have doubts we can always consult our Spiritual Director.

I think all the above needs long extensive moments of prayerful silence face to face with God.

Christmas Wishes 2015

Dear Friends,

This Christmas is a very special Feast, taking place as it does during this very unique year that started on the 8^th of December 2015 and that will finish with the Solemnity of Christ the King, on 20^th of November. It is a year, in accordance with the wishes of the Holy Father, in which the floodgates will be opened to allow the torrents of God's mercy to flow freely upon us all. Indeed, this year is dedicated to the discovery and deepening of God's Mercy, making it a year of inestimable value.

Christmas is the second major Feast in the Liturgical Year after Easter, and this means that each one of us – those who are both close to as well as far from God – is invited to receive a very special and powerful healing Grace. The Mercy of God is manifest in a very unique way each Christmas: again and again we can live that moment where humanity was expecting a Saviour, a Messiah. He is God's Gift, given freely, where He humbles himself and reaches out to each one of us. In the Baby Jesus, the Most High does not ask us to climb the heights to reach Him – He himself comes to us in an overwhelming act of Mercy.

This year, therefore, the School of Mary will follow the intentions of the Pope and do its best to deepen our experience of God's Mercy.

As you know the School is a place for teaching Spiritual Life. “Teaching” is an act of Spiritual Mercy. The School sees the great poverty of today's world, especially the First World which thinks it has the means and the power, which considers itself to be highly civilised, but does not know how poor it is spiritually, how needy it has become. The half-dead man of the Parable of the Good Samaritan is often before us in the First World, waiting for somebody to come and take good care of him, giving him the Spiritual Doctrine that can restore him to real Life, giving his life Light, Guidance and Meaning.

Let us, in the School of Mary, humbly renew our commitment to serve Spiritual Life and Spiritual Theology. It is a very hard mission, and even if the door is wide open very few undertake it. Let us entrust ourselves to Mary, as God the Father entrusted to Mary and Joseph his Eternal Son, incarnate as a little Baby.

May the Lord bless us all and bless our families, and may He give us plenty of Graces especially this year, day after day, so we can discover, deepen and dwell in God's Mercy for ever.

I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to read, meditate and put into practice the Pope's Letter on Mercy (please click here to find it); it embodies a very deep message which is essential and to the point for all of us Christians. Mercy is not optional in the Gospel, it is God's Face, it is our Way to Him...

The teaching this year in the School of Mary will pay special attention to Mercy in Spiritual Life. A new and very exciting Course on the Sermon of the Mount will be announced soon which will be open to everybody. Further courses for 2016 will be announced at the appropriate times.

Counting on your prayers as always, I wish each and every one of you a Happy Christmas filled with the choicest blessings, and graced by the Presence of Our Lady.

Jean

134: St Teresa of Avila 13/16: Fraternal Charity

Even if the position of fraternal love is not prominent on the list of theological graces, St Teresa places if first in her book. (see Way of Perfection chapters 4-7 and Interior Castle V,3). It forms, together with the two other virtues she highlights - detachment and humility - the indispensable trio that ensures a solid foundation for a fruitful prayer life. As she does for the two other virtues, St Teresa presents not not only a spiritual way of practising them, but a heroic way to do so. Hence her style of presentation is more radical, aimed at promoting perfection, as the title of the book illustrates: 'Way of Perfection'. By comparison with many other authors, Teresa delves more deeply into our minds and hearts, in order to dispose us to progress spiritually to the best of our ability, with the ultimate aim of reaching union with Jesus.

This process, to say the least, hardly leaves us unscathed! With spiritual finesse, the Saint unmasks what is deep within the soul yet barely discernible to the the average spiritual person! Holiness she reveals is not the for the faint-hearted! Strong courage, a fighter's spirit and powerful determination are some of the characteristics Teresa invites her reader to embody, not to mention aiming for and achieving the highest thoughts and ideals (see Way of Perfection, chapter 23).

- Resolve, sisters, that it is to die for Christ, and not to practise self-indulgence for Christ, that you have come here. (Way of Perfection, chapter 10)

- [...] commit yourselves wholly to God, come what may. What does it matter if we die? (Way of Perfection, chapter 11)

- Now, daughters, you have looked at the great enterprise which we are trying to carry out. What kind of persons shall we have to be if we are not to be considered over-bold in the eyes of God and of the world? It is clear that we need to labour hard and it will be a great help to us if we have sublime thoughts so that we may strive to make our actions sublime also. (Way of Perfection, chapter 4).

In sum Teresa advises that our overriding characteristic should be the courage to face our inner truth and then to be true to it.

Here a closer examination of her approach and an example to reinforce our findings would greatly enhance our understanding of Teresa.

It cannot be more vigorously emphasized that to exercise fraternal love is fundamental in Spiritual Life! God gave us two commandments - the first encompassing an all-embracing love of God (Matthew 22:37-39) - on which everything, the Law and the Prophets, hinges (Matthew 22:40). The second commandment is said to be 'similar' to the first: your shall love your neighbour as yourself (Matthew 22:39). One can assume, then, that it is absolutely normal for the second commandment to be prominent in the journey towards sanctification. As mentioned in a previous chapter, Christ cannot be cut into two parts, where we express interest in the Head of the Body, namely, Jesus of Nazareth, while we neglect his Mystical Body, namely, our brothers and sisters. Christ cannot be loved on the one hand, when, on the other hand, we reject Him and sadden Him by wronging a brother. The love of Christ, received and treasured during the Prayer of the Heart, must imbue our actions afterwards and become progressively refined during daily intercourse with our brothers. Incontrovertibly, love of our neighbour is part of the three indispensable virtues that summarise the Gospel and which elevate and purify us, in order to receive Christ more worthily within our hearts.

St Teresa's way of presenting the three virtues, consequently, becomes more elevated and gains in unusual intensity. Her aim now becomes to uplift us toward a purer practice in prayer embedded in greater spiritual awareness. Why would she do so? The reason becomes evident when we show determination in following Christ, for relatively soon we begin to feel his invitation to love, help and serve our brothers as He reveals himself to us in them. However, at this stage we lack sufficient self-awareness, being as yet at the beginning of the journey, and our way of loving is still very weak, feeble and quite imperfect! One could say with St Paul that the old man (Romans 6:6; Ephesians 2:15; 4:22-24; Colossians 3:9-11) in us is still alive and well and playing his usual tricks misleading us, thereby influencing our way of exercising the new virtue of Love. The capacity of the old man's influence is very limited and limits our way of loving.

The main purpose of Teresa's Way of Perfection is to speak about supernatural 'contemplation'. She issues a clear warning to the reader, namely, that God can be approached in two ways: one is through the means of the old man, and the other is to through the new man's ones. The beginning of our spiritual journey revealingly concerns this inability to love perfectly, and St.Teresa tries her utmost to highlight the impact of the old man on the practice of the virtues! She strongly advises against practising these willy nilly, in the hope of being successful. Rather she urges the reader to exceed their known limits, in order to awaken in the individual a fully functional new man. In this way Teresa stresses and only in this way, can the acts of love be purer and please Jesus-God who wants to give Himself to us.

A brief interjection regarding St. Paul would be useful here. Even if St Teresa does not directly use St Paul's expression 'new man' and 'old man', the real difference between imperfect spiritual love and perfect/pure spiritual love is found in the differing modalities and their effects in the human being of the 'old' and 'new' man. It is to St John of the Cross that we owe the full explanation of this difference. He makes a shrewd analysis of the seven mortal sins transposed onto the equivalent seven spiritual sins, encouraging us to discover that it is not enough to love God, but that, even more so, it is necessary to evaluate how we love Him: hence the expression 'imperfections of the beginner'. (See Dark Night Book 1, Chapters 1-7)

St Teresa invites us to love in an oblative detached manner and to do so likewise with everyone else, for the sake of the Lord. This new and radical way of loving our neighbour seduces God and powerfully increases his action in us during the Prayer of the Heart. It is breathtaking to realise that the more we do what is pleasing to God, the more He loves us, evoking in Him nothing less than an irresistible desire to give himself to us – like a magnetic force, God cannot resist being attracted to us! St John of the Cross confirms in the following extract, that we can almost impel God to love us more when we practise fraternal love:

God does not establish His grace and love in the soul but in proportion to the good will of that soul’s love. He, therefore, that truly loves God must strive that his love fail not; for so, if we may thus speak, will he move God to show him greater love, and to take greater delight in his soul. In order to attain to such a degree of love, he must practice those things of which the Apostle speaks, saying: “Charity is patient, is benign: charity envies not, deals not perversely; is not puffed up, is not ambitious, seeks not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinks not evil, rejoices not upon iniquity, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (Spiritual Canticle A 10,11 and B, 13,17)

The Lord himself underlines this strategic element of spiritual life: If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him (John 14:23; 21). It is like a new wave of love that originates in God, and ends in us! This might seem astonishing, but this is one of the most important secrets of the Saints. We know that God loves us, that God is Love, but here we see it is something concrete, palpable, it is really received, poured into us! The love of God for us is the starting point of the Prayer of the Heart: a new love that God has toward us!

One can say that the entire book of the Way of Perfection is the illustration of this verse of St John: If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make Our home with him. This Teresa skilfully depicts in in the following manner:

The first part of the book shows our need to learn how to keep Jesus' word by practising in as perfect a way as possible and by the grace of God, the three virtues that please God most. The effect following on from this, initiates the start of the Prayer of the Heart: My Father will love him. Finally, pure contemplation can occur in the Prayer of the Heart when as a result: we will come to him and make Our home with him. Indeed, in its complete form, this verse shows us the link between the practice of the evangelical virtues and the new transformed love given to us during the Prayer of the Heart. To receive a new transformed love from the Father and the Son, and to receive this coming of the Father and the Son into us - does this not embody the Prayer of the Heart? Here it is patently obvious that there is a deep and intimate link between the virtues practised during our daily activities and the Prayer of the Heart.

Let us take an example in order to illustrate the difference between the two loves, the imperfect one and the perfect one. Accordingly, even if love is an act of the will, when we love our emotions are directly involved. Initially, however, they are not yet purified, transformed and totally moved by God. As a consequence, without our being aware of it, we make preferences in our way of loving: we do not love as God loves. God loves because He is Love: He comes out of himself, He gives himself to us without making any distinction between the good and the bad. He gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike”(Matthew 5:45). God does not find the motivation or the reason to love us within us, but within himself. By contrast, we human beings merely at the beginning of our journey, fail to act with such perfection, for to love in this way does not come easily to us. If, for example, in the workplace or in a religious community there are ten colleagues or brothers: we often find that with one or two we, quite spontaneously, have things in common, or whose company we really enjoy and desire to frequent more, all quite spontaneously, with another one or two, we find that we are not inclined to enjoy their presence, and our attitude towards the rest could is average normality. These three different reactions are spontaneous, natural, normal to have and not blameworthy by any means.These inclinations can in no way be considered sinful. But, if we surrender to this natural reaction and if our action is influenced by it, as a consequence the tendency to spend increasing time with the persons with whom we are in accord will result, so that we might neglect or even avoid the ones with whom we have no affinity or even dislike. Can this be to love as God loves? Ironically our way of loving leads to our being caught in the trap of our own superficial making. While it is evident that we all agree that we should love our neighbour, we deceive ourselves and do not necessarily acknowledge that our act of love is stained by a great weakness. It is therefore good to encourage detachment, especially of our instinctive preferences, to concentrate on overcoming our defects by the grace of God and to deliberately choose to love this or that person whom we actively dislike, by finding even more profound reasons to do so: to love because this individual has been created, loved and saved by God, because he or she deserves to be loved as God loves....

The Growth of Love

Of necessity, now, some questions arise: what is the relationship between the love of neighbour and the curve of our spiritual growth? Does love grow? Does love have a limit?

The love that binds us to God and the love that binds us to our neighbour is the same love - it is nothing less than the Holy Spirit! The closer we grow towards God, the more closely are we united to Him, and the more our love toward our neighbour is deepened, purified and enlarged, to embrace, finally, the whole world. Our spiritual life reflects this in an enhanced growth, where an acute awareness of our poverty, our weakness and the miserable state or our soul becomes increasingly manifest, but where, simultaneously, our appreciation of the infinite mercy of God becomes daily more apparent. As a consequence, there is a rising tide of Mercy and Compassion in our heart, this becoming instinctively translated into prayer.

For the human being who has reached, as it is termed, this Union with Christ (Spiritual Marriage, Seventh Mansions of the Interior Castle), St Teresa repeatedly underlines the fact that it is a great act of mercy to remember in our prayers all those who are enslaved in grave or mortal sin, those who are in the First Mansions of the Castle. The action of the Holy Spirit within us now reveals itself in an enlarged capacity to gather our brothers and sisters into our hearts.

As one can see, during the Prayer of the Heart God purifies our love for our neighbour, elevates it, transforms it, and in tandem, our daily life offers us opportunities to love our neighbour as God desires. In consequence our capacity for love is enlarged, attracts God into our heart and draws Him with irresistible force to give himself increasingly to us!

Believe me, sisters, the soldiers of Christ - namely, those who experience contemplation and practise prayer - are always ready for the hour of conflict. They are never very much afraid of their open enemies, for they know who they are and are sure that their strength can never prevail against the strength which they themselves have been given by the Lord: they will always be victorious and gain great riches, so they will never turn their backs on the battle. (Way of Perfection, chapter 38)

A brief comparison with this and a comment made by St. Therese of Lisieux endorses this complementary action of love. This Saint remarked, that from her youth, she was very impressed by a passage of St John of the Cross where he says that exercising love is of utmost importance hastening our journey to the fullness of Love and Transformation in Jesus:

With what longing and what consolation I repeated from the beginning of my religious life these other words of St. John of the Cross: 'It is of the highest importance that the soul practice love very much in order that, being consumed rapidly, she may be scarcely retained here on earth but promptly reach the vision of her God face to face.' (Yellow Notebook, 27.7.5)

In fact a reading of Manuscript C of the Story of the Soul would greatly benefit the aspiring practitioner of the Prayer of the Heart, as it includes different examples and advice offered by Therese on the love of our neighbour.